sugar, give me sugar

Friday, October 20, 2006

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and with a very unbecoming drizzle, autumn deftly befell on shanghai.
a resurrected cold, long forgotten even in days of a dying summer.
a chill that burrows deep into the hearts of a tropical visitor.
and the reminder of the mercy you will never get from winter.

~

It has been a very busy week. and a very sickly one. spent most of it thinking i was (and still is) sick, working on the 3rd anniversary of Cerecare's, rushing from place to place (and to place again) and learning.

Learning not what books can offer, for once.

as i was telling ml, it suddenly dawned upon me how selfish i am. Its not momentary reflection or guilt in reference to any incident at all. Its a person-induced revelation and i most hope will stick. for now, if there is to be any reason, i decide to return to who i was in the past, it will be for a reason most unthinkable and unfortunate.

i realised i never knew sacrifice, nor did i know love.
but i think i do now. and its something we should be glad for.
Pride is most appropriately included in the 7 sins (i think) and god does it deserve to be there.
of course , i could redirect all the blame to my overindulged unhappy past, how it made it quite impossible to believe and have faith, but it won't be very helpful. so i'll choose to burden it all for now.

at the same time, something happened. it positively proved that trust and faith is as thorny as i made it out to be. but i choose to persist. its like suicide sometimes : believing in the good. really it is. of course, for some lucky ones, its a thick bed of roses to cushion that fall, for others, wham. its groundfloor. by saying this, i make believing in something sound like a constant depression. which i think is apt only because what weakens in the process is the heart. but what comes of it could be good. so next we need 'hope'.

one could be cynical forever. it takes no courage nor wisdom. you're just walking on the clouds forever. until you decide to take the plunge. if it works out, you're neither better or worse, but at least you are somewhere else.

there is nothing wrong in being a cynic besides the incapacity to believe that someone else might not be as selfish as you are.

there is the urge to leave.

~

Updates updates!

Cerecare's 3rd anniversary is coming!
well all i know is that i designed (not perfected) their publicity poster and did a hellotof translation for their presentations to some visitors that day! and i'll be singing as well. and im supposed to help out for the kids' performance (er. long story. sorry look at jan)

haohao is coming back for 3mths! like for REAL!
haha!!! hhaahahahha! oh i can't wait to see him!
he's going to be attending day school here. for THREE MONTHS! good timing haohao! cos i'm leaving for singapore after that. haha YAY! *tap dances*

i quite like sandy lam's new album but its not a good time for me to hear too many songs about being single (many cos erm. Mr. bushyface Li Zong Sheng ditched her). But there's one song i like alot : Ci2 Bu4 Da2 Yi4 (Words Fail Me, the essence of it is translated). hurhur go find a way to hear it. haha.

jiang mei qi is pretty good too. normal chinese pop lar but with her technique and voice, it elevates her to another level.

jielun is well not very exciting anymore so i shall not comment except bai se feng che is not too bad.

AND AND AND

i seriously think i am a miracle chef. i boiled chicken tonic soup that day. OH. SO. GOOD. like seriously HK bo tong standard. (whistles as xtine glares) No salt or sugar added. It had (only zy can be so irritatingly detailed bout recipes) DANG GUI, HUAI SHAN, WOLFBERRIES, DRIED SCALLOPS, RED DATES and AN ENTIRE CHICKEN! it cost me like only .... 20 RMB?! so bu3. hurhur.

and i'm making cheng teng fortnightly. Mum's kinda where u throw a whole lot of like 7 chinese grasses and roots and fruits into it and concoct this gooey (if u add too much white fungus that is) goodness.

And i can fry nice SOLID food too! (gasp) I made erm.. fermented tofu chicken which was past-mummy-style where there were tons of chup (not like her new healthy style which is like dry cos she dun want too much preservatives). hurhur. im supposed to lose weight and save $$$ by cooking. hurrah.

and after a few experimental sessions, i have to admit that housewives are probably the wisest people after philosophers.

so wise. these women. who could think of baking soda in water to soften the lotus seeds for the cheng teng? or the corn flour to make the ginger chinese wine sauce stick on the chicken for enhanced flavor? it must be an accumulation of centuries of domestic experience, trial and errors in dark smelly kitchens, brainstorming while they pretend to indulge in korean dramas, long hours of secret training of how their fingers act as precise measurement apparatus. how else can they come up with spreading toothpaste underneath the wok to prevent blackening? HOW?!

i salute u. housewives.

I pity the modern women who have forgotten the ancient art of domesticism. Female rights start from the kitchen, the hub of power and gastronomical control over men, old and young alike. And no this is not propaganda to get the obsessed feminists into kitchens, its to glorify the one-and-only MUMMY!

i love u mummy!
and dad too, if you promise not to cook.

10/20/2006 05:30:00 PM