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Saturday, June 26, 2004
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I liked that comment osm made alot. for that i'll buy her sth nice. *really proud*
~
I am terrible at identifying and recognising details.
Jus this evening i went all the way down to HMV (City Hall) at 4.30 , all eager to catch Emi Fujita's little song session. (I saw the publicity poster at the same location just 1 week before. 4.30.) I was a bit late in fact. Reached there at 4.45 or so and damned! the whole place was void of any trace of the singer/songwriter's mini concert - whether it was booths or posters or fans with her album...
So i checked the publicity poster which i got the info from.
Time : 4.00.
Great. I was jus sending out my usual lamenting sms-es to jj : "Wah lel, feel real crappy...jus came down and got the time wrong.." bla bla.
And then i thought...hmm..it couldn't have been just a 45 minute thingy. (i'm not dat stupid) I walked over and checked the poster AGAIN.
Venue : HMV ( HEEREN )
Wah piang. Another sms to jj. haha. i'm super blur.
~
But as the Chinese saying, " Sai Weng Shi Ma, Bi You Hou Fu "
Since i went all the way down to HMV, i refused to leave the place until i've found something there that excited me. And OH MAN, did i get EXCITED.
I found 2 PREeeeEciooooousss babbbbbieessss...... *purrs*
1st...*drumroll*...... GOLDEN EDITION : NICHOLAS NICKLEBY'S DVD!!! wow! (actually i would have found it 2 mths before cos qisheng told me it was available but i din bother too but somehow it feels like a new discovery! *self-delusion*)
Oh but compared to my other baby....this baby is NOTHING.
i actually found......
TORI AMOS' LIVE CONCERT DVD for WELCOME TO SUNNY FLORIDA!!!
Full with interviews, video footage, documentaries and *chokes with tears* the HIDDEN MYSTERY SIX TRACKS for SCARLET'S WALK!!!
WAH KAO!!!! HAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!
but really heartache man. 40.95. super ex. lor.
but i'm really glad i got it. can't wait to savour it slowly with surround speakers on (i might have to borrow adele's home theatre system equipped room) ( anyway my family's home tomorrow...boo plus i'm going out.... double boo)
no more extravagance for the nxt half month. damned. just when i got my debit card. I was about to go sign some merchandise for the sake of signing it. haha.
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He woke up feeling worse.
Which was odd cos by some rule of the universe,u're only supposed to get better when u have been getting better for the last few days. Colds dun make a U-turn. Or they weren't supposed to.
He had tissues to his nose for half the time he was awake since 8. And the after-blowing-ur-nose tissue checks were optimistic. Clear. Not green or yellow which was probably good news. But it didn't justify the throbbing and whirling going on in his head.
Not lack of sleep too, he slept at 12 and woke up at 8. good 8 hours. maybe it was the cramming in of 80 chapters of Da Vinci Code (at last completed!) right before he slept.
And the headache got worse after he had pig innards with kway chup for breakfast.
And worse after his mom and him shared this really intense laughing/choking session in the car about dad pronouncing-Alzhiemer's-as-Amnesia-which-mom-insisted-sounded-like-Amanda(?!?!)-and-later-Amidah(his aunt's colleague).
He came back home, realised he was out of phlegm medicine and settled for a cup of Vit C drink. Tried to read "Nightflowers" again but skipped twice as many pages as the ones he managed to actually calm himself down (or his stupid head) to read.
He realised he only wanted to read this book again to see how Zed and Evie were no longer lonely because they had one another. Whether they were in London, Sydney or Melbourne. Whether they were hot, horny or shivering and sick.
Then he lay in bed with mom sound asleep (she caught his flu) , thinking he was ever so lonely. And it was not fair to say that, he knew. He knew he had probably all the friends he ever needed. (maybe even more) He had a family that people openly expressed their envy towards and that, he is ever thankful for. He had a best friend. He was never alone-lonely. But he always thought he was lonely. And no amount of reiterating the above to himself seemed to be able to detach him from that feeling permanently (just distract him for what seems like minutes compared to those dreary moments).
There were many many times he would forget. Times where he had fresh company (not new people but new occasions) and fresh dialogue and wear fresh clothing with fresh weather and everything seemed different, everything varied and he felt he didn't need a constant in his life and he would never feel alone again if everything kept changing and exciting him. But loneliness invaded these 'secure moments' sometimes. He would be out with people he thought he was dying to meet and while speaking to them, their faces blurred and their laughter (why was there always laughter? it was almost a reason they went out with one another, he guessed) echoed, and he thought crossly, these people won't do. They're going to go. They're going to find their soulmates and then find a nice place with children around them to die. And if they didn't, they wouldn't do anyway. One of us would bore the other dead and then who was left would be alone again. And besides, there would be the marriage, the rent, the dog, the adopted kid, the who's-gonna-watch-what-on-TV and all the rest of those problems. The adult problems, he scoffed at the thought. He was unhappy not because of what was going on in the present but of what would eventually happen. He would EVENTUALLY be alone, like he was some soothsayer-shit. He felt terribly useless, like some guy who is always upset cos he knew he would die eventually. He couldn't live IN a moment. He always needed to walk the timeline in advance (10 years?), write himself a sad sorry end with an empty house and the single pillow and then start preparing his tears now for the arrival of that very day.
Then he would think : I need to find someone. Anyone. He or she wouldn't need to stay forever. Just reassure me for now. Let me try how it feels to HAVE the OTHER half. He thought he was pretty smart when he figured out that the only reason why everyone looked for their other half was because everyone was looking for their other half. If noone bothered to in the first place, we could all remain happy and single with friends and family in our lives, like... now. Mom had Dad. Brother had Jaslyn. All his friends have this person they think they have when they say stuff like " When I get married " or " My kids will be.. " (He said stuff like these too, but he wondered if they were all feeling just as insecure and unsure when they did all these foreseeing) He would sit at the dining table on Sunday family dinner days and think , " Mom had Dad. One person she really needed. One person she could AT LEAST say she really needed even if she didn't " and the same for his brother and his girlfriend (assuming they were gonna do the usual). And he looked around and saw his grandma and groaned. 6 people at the table. 2 pairs and 2 individuals. Period.
He was walking back home late night one day. He saw a random stranger, all alone across the street. He didn't know if it was male, female or something in between. He felt like shouting over, " Hey you, i could love you, you know that? " Then what? Then he imagined the stranger might turn around, stop in it's tracks and shout over , " Yeah. Me too! " Then he would have found a soulmate. Haha. Cute. Right off the street. Like right off the shelves, you get a can of peaches from the supermart.
He didn't like thinking he was desperate. But he knew he probably was. Desperate. It SOUNDED desperate. The word. It gave him shudders to think he was EVER desperate for anything. He was always composed and hardly emotional nowadays. He really didn't sound like him to be DESPERATE. It made him embarrassed, the word. He liked thinking that everyone is, and they just don't say or show or think they are. But that is really stupid, cos if they don't say or show or think they are, they AREN'T. haha. That made alot of sense.
Would he feel better if he started having flings and one night stands? He wondered. Was he capable of them in the first place? Would physical company be all he asked for? He was desperate but dignified - the most awkward of 'desperates'. Not anyone would do. Not anything would do. Nothing will do, in fact.
He always thought of what he would do when he found that someone.
And in his mind, there were 3 images:
A hand in another hand, a tear dropping and the hugest field at the 'ends of the world'.
He always wanted to run to the ends of the world. Like he knew where that was.
Then he finally concluded : I can never live with someone. I can never have a soulmate. I can find one most probably. But it won't survive. The bond. The marriage. The 'love' or what ever u call it. Because i am never pleased. I am never happy and I am always looking for something new. Something virgin.
- Looking into myself sometimes and writing down what one part of me is screaming.
P.s. I call this version of me - Mr. Lonely Popcorn.
My English is a bit broken. Please make do. *sweet smile*
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
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I am still sick. Recovering. Doing pretty okay. Feeling bit tired and stuffed nose , that's all.
Didn't manage to join the parade rehearsal today after all. Just sat at the holding area and waited (hated it) and waited for all of them to be done and come back. Was so freaking bored. And couldn't lie down and sleep cos all the phlegm in my lungs kept giving me a hard time.
But oh well, i'm happy cos our ma'am gave all the parade ppl (which includes me) 1 day off on friday and a long weekend (which means no work on saturday)! And that's just great. So i can like rest and get this shitty illness out of my system and be in tip top condition for the actual SAF day parade nxt Thurs. (hehe~!) It's rather interesting to realise the disparity in the ways i viewed this parade rehearsal before and after the rehearsals started. I mentioned to quite a few ppl (complained, in fact) that i hated parade rehearsals, it was going to be super taxing, i would rather serve extra guard duty...etc etc. But now i'm jus dying to join each and every rehearsal. I'm jus easy to please but full of complaints.
Adele's back!
In a "Jiu3 Yang2 Da4 Ming2" kinda way, (long heard of its reputation) i finally got to hear Coldplay. Tried the 1st five songs of its Parachutes Album. Hmm. Not bad. I'm not really impressed tho. I prefer Damien Rice. I think the lead jus sounded exactly like the way i thought he would sound. haha, i dunno wat that means but yeah. But some of their musical 'ideas' aren't too bad. But i'm not a fan of repititive lyrics.
And it ALL goes back to Tori Amos. AGAIN. (i can see paul's look)
Whenever i try new english songs, it is unavoidable that i compare them to mydearTori and whenever i do, it is almost (how i hope for the contrary) impossible to compare.
*and it all suddenly changes to torifanpage talk* (alright alright i will give Coldplay a few more chances to impress)
As for Tori!! *grins*
I MUST recommend
"Talula" and "Caught A Lite Sneeze" from her "Boys From Pele" album.
It's funny how JUS her "introductions" can create scenarios and graphics in my head. I could actually see women-screaming-blood-from-wrists-streetlights-flickering-myself-under-her-piano-keys-and-her-face-twisted-in-orgasm with her piano intro in "Carbon" (Scarlet's Walk Album). I know it sounds terribly twisted. But that's what tori's music does to me, she sort of releases all the trapped angst and suppressed ,deep perverse thoughts in me, and makes me face them and either accept or condemn them instead of hiding them away. Although alot of these emotions aroused by her music are probably self-conjured but i dun see many singers having that effect (or in fact, ANY effect) on me.
So if from time to time, u feel that u're trapped inside, u feel u're not you, u feel suicidal or angry or silly or bored or sexy (i think Tori is really sexy. like i suddenly think Kylie is too) , jus go pick up a tori album.
***
haha, we were having dinner talk just now. My brother's having his NSmen IPPT in July and he was jus lamenting that his 2.4 timing now was a embarrassing 15 plus min. And i was asking my dad his timing.
Yi : Dad, u run how much last time?
Dad: Can't remem la. But if u ask me to run now, if i complete it, i'll take... 25 min.
Yi and Bro : hahahaha..
Dad: dat's if i complete it la, without walking, 25 min.
Yi : haha, if it's mom, she'll take 50 min. *nudging at mum*
Mom : Oi. Shit.
wahhaha. i thot it was hilarious. the whole conversation was in mandarin except the last line when my mom ACTUALLY jus threw a "Shit" at me!
haha. SO HILARIOUS. it's sorta like a comic version of " Shit You " and from my mom some more. keke.
and later my dad was actually asking how i made a certain funny face. which was quite cute. cos he kept asking on and on how i made that face and he kept twisting his face in the attempt but jus couldn't. It's funny wat 50 years of age does to some ppl. And he kept insisting he can still do 20 situps. Wah lel. pls lor. his tummy, i mean ppl who saw mi dad before can SWEAR he can't do even one, and he jus kept saying he could.
Finally Da Vinci Code is picking up its momentum. But cos i'm feeling drowsy, nth much sticks to my head, maybe i'll continue reading another day. Still lazy to pick up my pen to write. this ISN't good. I need discipline.
Being sick is lousy. Can't run. Can't read. Can't write. Can eat tho.
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
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Updates from the Crypt.
Booked in yesterday night anyway, thought i'll try and see if i got better while resting in camp.(already got excused officially by my Regimental Sergeant Major for parade) Woke up the next day, not feeling 'terrible' but felt really insecure with no PROPER medicine with me - just my own Panadols for Cold and lousy MO's diarrhoea medicine (he jus assumed it was only diarrhoea despite my declaration of many other symptoms like nausea and flu and fever - THREE types of diarrhoea med somemore). And i got increasingly tired just sitting in my office. So with a push from my ma'am and mom, i decided to book out AGAIN and report sick outside. Civilian doctors are so much more assuring. FIVE types of medicine - 2 for diarrhoea (still), 1 for phlegm, 1 for cough and 1 for nausea (bonus: 2 out of 5 makes me drowsy. woohooo~ no more insomnia at night for sleeping too much in the day)
i have GOT to recover by thursday! which seems so soon all of a sudden. I need to go for thursday's parade! i hate being left out of parade! it's like being classified with the REAL kengsters (slackers) and weak. Which i am SO not. Altho i AM sick.
The drowsy medicine hit me like a baseball bat within 30 min of consumption. And i fell asleep for a nice 3 hrs, all wrapped up in my mom's thick comforter in a no aircon, no fan room ( and i din even sweat ). But i woke up feeling like i was better off dead. Clogged nose, dehydrated lips, slight fever and a whole lorry hanging on my head.
Okay, so i'll be home for today and tomorrow. (xtine... now u can visit me...LOL~ *winks*) two days MC.
***
WHY i'm here is for something ELSE.
I am most offended by an sms i received by a fellow campmate when i woke up and turned on my hp.
The background information u need:
1) I am pretty well-liked and trusted by my ma'am in camp.
2) For the past 4 occasions, i have been able to fight for our due rewards/rights for our hard work on parade from our ma'am - like a few longweekends,ss staying out to bring our clothes to wash since parade ends pretty late and the next rehearsal is 2 days away.
3) My platoonmates know the above.
So as u guys know, i din go for parade today while the others went. And this was the sms:
" Hey Zheng Yi, This is *****. Can help us ask for stay out tonight. Pai Seh. "
I was totally taken aback.
WHY:
1) Firstly, i think it is exceptionally rude to actually ask some1 who's not feeling well to do something like that, without even PRETENDING to be concerned over his state of health.
2) I WASN'T EVEN IN THE PARADE REHEARSAL today. What business is it of mine, in the first place, to request for any priviliges?
3) Their overt display of awareness of my ma'am's 'trust' is precisely why i have to avoid being too close to my superior (i hate office politiks) and also why my ma'am would have to do the unnecessary in order to appear fair (when in fact she has never been UN-fair -> i deserve every bit i have with my hard work).
4) I feel made use of. Suddenly i feel like i'm just a tool dat these f**kers get close to, so they can 'apply' my privileged status when the time comes. Whether or not i'm being paranoid, i dun care, i jus dun like this feeling.
All though i might not display it, i think i can no longer trust these ppl in camp. Prob can only trust those ppl who have the similar 'privileges' as i do, the ppl dat ma'am CAN trust.
5) And believe me, asking ma'am for such stuff, is ONLY an sms away, no matter who that sms came from. I can't believe they're so useless.
PUI.
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Monday, June 21, 2004
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Yesterday we were having our Father's Day dinner and my brother had his girlfriend, Jaslyn come over.
I was having my evening nap (hoping i could sleep away this dratted illness) and when i woke up, i sort of sleepily made my way to the dining area for dinner.
And outside the room was the washroom and my brother was bathing inside, and jaslyn was standing out there with the sorriest and most dejected expression i've ever seen on her face. And upon seeing me, her usual cheery " Hello! " and sweet-as-honey expression was replaced by a weak " Hello." and sad eyes dat didn't even meet mine when she greeted me.
At that very moment, i thought :
Will i be able to keep up with all these?
Will i be able to survive all these seemingly endless turbulences in a relationship?
The little joys and sorrows , the tiffs and teases, can i take them? Knowing how i always magnify the smallest things and allow them to wound me or exhilarate me, can my heart take the hyperaction?
My heart has been shut out all the while, it's almost scary to think one day i might open it up, and even scarier to realise that it might be forced to shut again. Never let the caged bird see the sky, then it wouldn't ever know what it'll be like to fly. But let it out and cage it back in and see what happens. No it's not oh-cynical-zhengyi with his ' better not to try den try and fail ' philosophy , i always believe in trying out stuff, but matters of the heart...hmm. I might even be a penguin. Which jus means i'll never fly but oh well. who knows.
But well, at the dining table, they sorta made up. I helped a bit by asking him to get her a potato. Which jus proves my point of how volatile relationships are, constantly sucking its 'victims' into the darkest hole and then pushing them all the way to the top of the sky. Not meant for the aged. I mean the aged mind of cos.
Well, we'll see. Now i'm better off not sitting ard hoping to find some1 but to make my life revolve ard myself and letting "ME" be a good enough reason for me to be happy and feel fulfilled.
***
Guess wat? I KNEW sth was up when paul and lau called up yesterday (refer to prev. blog)
and sure enough ( I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! ), my doorbell rang at 5pm (i was jus deciding to take my evening nap... hehe not that i didn't ENJOY their COMPANY. lol~) And there were the two of them standing out there, at my front door (with ah zhao's help at directions) looking realli amused with themselves, haha. hilarious ppl.
and they REALLY got cakes from SUN MOULIN! I've got the BEST friends i tell u. I jus casually mentioned it as a joke in my sms for paul cos he was asking if i wanted them to come. I said 'yeah, bring a fruit baskets and cakes from Sun if u do. ' and VOILA. i should do that every weekend. $10+ worth of yummy cakes. My family took the lot cos well, i was having runny bowels. ( haha , runny bowels sound funny, i'll use them more often) They loved it. (THANKS AGAIN GUYS.)
first time i ever got visited by frens when i'm sick (tho lau thinks i'm jus pretending cos i dun look sick). it's jus hilarious.
***
arg, i'm REALLY quite sick now. not that i wasn't yesterday.
but i conclude i've got GASTRIC FLU (e runny bowels explain it all)
n i opted out for my parade rehearsal tml. funny how most ppl will love that but i'm terribly irritated that i can't go cos i actually enjoy rehearsals. (dele calls me a loser for that and refuses to acknowledge me animore)
*grumble* i hope i'm well for thursday's full dressed rehearsal no.2.
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Sunday, June 20, 2004
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Once in a while we spend time evaluating ourselves, our lives and our acquaintances.
When u start doing that too frequently, u know ur life isn't fulfilling the needs of ur spirit.
***
I am sick.
Down with fever. Actually i've been feeling sick since friday night. I am perpetually thirsty and warm. And i've been staying up late at night, chatting randomly till like 1 or 2 am and waking up at 9 plus 10 the following day. Which is not enuf sleep for me. My family used to call me the "8.30 boy" in primary school cos if i didm't sleep at 8.30, i will become the grumpiest person to have ever walked the earth (either meiling or christine is holding the record now. *weak smile*) And i think i've stuck with the habit of sleeping early all the way till NS came along, cos i always book in at the very last minute and only sleep bout 12 plus.
Okay, i digressed. anyway, i'm better now, took some panadol and lotsa water (i think i went to the loo 15 times since last night 7pm). A bit worried cos there's parade nxt tues and thurs. (fyi, i think i got mi fever fm mi last rehearsal cos the sun was UNBEARABLY SCORCHING. i am toasted. So tanned that kaiyun walked past me without recognising who i was when i was with shanmian yesterday --> until jiabin (skinny) told her. LOL~ haha i'm laffing over my "(skinny)" , sorry boon. Hoping i do recover cos i ACTUALLY enjoy the parade rehearsals (everything beats slacking at the office --> besides outfield that is (and guard duty))
***
Thai express has pretty impressive tom yam. but i must say the Tub Tim Grob is beaten hands down by the one at Thanying.
And the service at the Thai express outlet at Citilink is absolutely embarrassing.
Imagine:
ME : Sorry, can i add another order. One Tub Tim Grob pls. (trying my best to get it right)
Waiter: (stretching out a bit) sorry sir?
ME : A Tub Tim Grob.
Waiter: Tub..?
ME : (thot i got it wrong, embarrassed but coolly) I'm sorry if i can't get it right, the *hesitates* TARB TIM GROB?
Waiter : (hurriedly) Okay sir.
(5 minutes later)
ANOTHER waiter : I'm sorry sir, can i know what ur additional order is?
ME : (slightly fedup) A TUB. TIM. GROB.
THIS WAITER : I'm sorry sir, we're NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE THAI NAMES , CAN U TELL ME IN ENGLISH?
ME : (horrified and pissed) (rolling my eyes and giving OSM the W-T-H look) The RED RUBY.
THIS WAITER : Sorry sir, so it's the red ruby. (running away)
Wah lel, hello. Not knowing what the thai names of the food are is diu lian but admitting it is CLEARLY poor service and training.
But the Mango salad and tom yam is really quite power packed. esp the tom yam, small bowl of clear (yes! clear! rare right?) soup but charged with flavour, quite a taste bud opener. mian and i almost died fm the spicy combination (both had loads of green chilli and chilli padi) but we were happy. ( i think i'm starting to realise where else i could have gotten my fever from.. :P )
***
I'm about to embark on penning my first (actually second if i included my really amateurish piece i did in sec.3) "long novel" (i dunno wat its called in English, cause in chinese there is Duan Pian (short), Zhong Pian (middle) , Chang Pian (long) Xiao Shuo (novels) ).
I think i need to get a good chinese software. (zzy: think need to borrow fm u again) Bookout nights will cease to be mundane and oh-so-boring anymore!
I'm an "impulse" person. ( i dun say impulsive person cos i think there's a very slight difference in the definitions. like i'm NOT rash.) So i probably wun be writing any skeletal storyboard for it. Just going to write as much as i can ( i haven't even decided on how many characters i should have yet ) then type it out, work on it and rewrite it a few times. It will be a major project. Wish me luck! i really hope u guys will want to read it when it's done. But i KNOW chinese novels jus dun sell. demmit. >:(
***
Wow, i just realised our next album already has 17 songs! And still got 2-3 more to go. :) :) :) after bout ... 1 and 1/4 years. Lau has lots to say bout our efficiency but heck, u guys should see recording sessions WITH her around. Flat. And Lazy.
Then probably can start working on CD production. Really really want the kind of lyrics they have in albums sold in shops. U know? the kind dat can be folded and then slotted in to the cd? Dunno who can print such stuff. And we haven't even decided on the Album Title.
***
Dele will be back next Thursday! for 3 months! haha happy . altho she's pretty resentful but heck la.
meiling should be back the monday after the nxt.
And erm lau should be leaving on ?????????? . LOL~
***
Why does everyone say my British-India-wanna be, slightly pinkish-greenish-yellowish stripey yoga , wide-collared, short sleeved shirt looks GAY?
I realli dun think it does. It's slightly metrosexual only WAT. i think ppl are jus saying that by preset standards. "Cos MOST people will say that" Urg, people have such weak and flimsy opinions nowadays, they say stuff without thinking. how boring.
And my family is pillared by NORMALITIES and SOCIAL STANDARDS.
Dad : Wah, wat a hiao2 shirt! (vain and loud)
Bro : It's cool. Yes. But gay too.
Mom : It looks (timidly...) a little feminine.
But i LIKE it. I'm so not a person who will change mi dressing cos of negative comments. Oh wait, but hmm, actually looking 'gay' isn't necessarily negative actually...
And jj is the worse. Says it looks LOK KOK. (lok kok leong wor...)
HELLO. He's wearing some cheapo ,buy 1 get 10 free plain white, lousy quality T-shirt and dare to comment on my $40 RE- Shirt? PUI. *chuckles*
***
haha jj really wants to meet lihui. this is quite hilarious.
and he keeps giving the oddest variations for her name.
Like he asked me last week :
" Hey is Yihui gonna come along ? "
then at e end of that day :
" Wah lel, next time u better bring Ji Hui (chance) along ! "
And yesterday he told me :
" Oi, i haven't met Yihua (or some crap like dat) yet lei... "
haha xiao si ren le. He's super dumb. There isn't anithing romantic going on. Trust me on that. Jus him realli bored.
***
i'm meeting jj once every week liao (much earlier than our plan of starting nxt year). Hmm. It's become REALLY frequent. Not like i'm complaining or anithing. But i'm starting to dread having to go off to shanghai (i haven't heard fm MOE for so long, i dun even know if i AM going ANYWHERE ). I think i'll really miss him. We sound like a gay couple. Yes. But no we're not. But i think most ppl (esp. guys , esp. e TYPICALLY GUY guys) can't understand what's it like having a REAL best friend. (haha to lauren) He's prob the best thing that happened to me , besides, Sun moulin, pineapple cheesecake, Tori Amos , Tao Zi and my family. And we're so over the stage of mutual distrust, living up to expectations and conscious maintenance : like how u brush ur teeth in the morning and how shitty u feel when u dun ( doesn't apply to mi stinky brother tho ). And there has been a giant leap in our friendship recently (who could have imagined that there could be room for advancement? ) which we both made possible by taking things positively (esp. on mi part). hey, i'm starting to make this sound like a personal letter. shld stop. be4 i get all sick and mushy. and the bai chi will probably get all swell-headed with my bare-all-post.
***
yay! jiabin u're back. we watched potter without u (sorrie!) u shld have been there, JSZ was a total embarrassment. Kept making weird comments like how the ballooned auntie shld take xanda, shouting out "EXPECTO PETRANUM" from time to time, making weird "OMG" expressions when Hermione started doing slightly bimbotic stuff like throwing her hair ard, scolding the new Dumbledore and chanting "Peter Pelanini (or watever e rat's name was) " in "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper" tongue-twisting fashion. Oh meet up 1 day lei, u can tell us ALL bout ur trip and i WILL collect my presents. (oh i realised i shld be seeing u nxt sat)
***
I REALLY want to sing in a lounge, a bar or a min ge can ting.
I know i'm not brilliant but i am pretty sure i'm not NOT up to it. Any1 got kang tow, pls tell me.
I am really excited by the thought of being a teacher by day and working as a singer by night. I will be so cool.
( jus why is mum yelping outside? hmm must be quite an exciting show. )
I think i'm disgustingly spoilt. I actually made my mom do a body scrub for my back dat day while i was using e pc. disgusting. She had to wet it with a towel, den scrub den wipe clean with a towel. While i jus sat there. I'm REALLY disgusting.
I can only behave like dat with my mom. Actually my dad too, he realli dotes on me. I can make him scratch my back even when he absolutely HATES to. And i make him enjoy it somemore cos he'll be laughing when he just puts his hand in a clawing pose stationary while i move my body. (sorta like the how did 100 morons paint a ship? question. Answer: 99 move the ship while 1 holds the brush) And i am always overwhelmed when they all fuss over me when i'm sick. Like how mom would come over to their bed (i'm sleeping on it), put her hand on my forehead, then walk away quietly and tell my dad in that calm yet fussing-over-me manner : " Fa Shao (fever) " and my dad would come in and do the exact same thing and go out and tell her : " Chi Panadol. "
They are the pillars of my life. But it's jus unbelievable how i can love 2 people who really dun understand me.
(there, mom jus walked in and said " Bo Yi (hainanese for ah yi), Ni hai bu yao shui jiao ar? ( aren't u going to sleep ?) my my, it's almost touching how people can actually centre their lives on some1 else. i'm almost impatient to try how dat feels. )
***
i had a dream dat day in camp. The most beautiful dream i ever had. I had a son! A nice looking angmoh mixed chinese kid, bout 2 years old who was so cute. I was so happy in my dream. I taught him how to eat and play and pee even! I really really want to have a kid. Sigh. Stupid campmate turned on the lights and woke me up. shithead.
***
There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with Lauren and Paul.
Cos we were supposed to go have lunch at good ol' thanying today and then record at paul's house? but i was so sick i had to call it off? (when zhengyi calls off outings, esp. RECORDING sessions, u know it was pretty bad. ) Then Lauren called me TWICE already.
and the conversation was sorta like :
" Hey zhengyi, how r u doing? feeling better? (yes, thanks) Wat ARE u doing at home? (resting..) Oh paul really misses u, he wishes u are here and spent the last half hour complaining that u aren't here. (yes yes i'm SURE lau) Really! (okay really.. u must be doing sth to him. ) I'm not!*laugh laugh laugh* ( lau, stop doing watever u r doing to paul ) I'm not! (paul, wat is she doing to u? ) He's not doing anything to me.. oh wait, i mean, i'm not doing anything to him! *laugh laugh* okay bye bye! (u guys are crazy, wat's wrong wif u? ) U're SUCH a loser! Staying at home... *laughs madly* (i'm sick. shouldn't there be more sympathy) *laughs* okay okay BYE!! "
LOSER? hello, when did the world stop feeling sorry for poor sick ppl?
***
my brother is realli silly. he just walked in and asked me :
" hey where's the teapot we got for dad ? "
" in the cupboard lo. "
" okay..."
Then while getting his stuff, he keeps singing in this cutey voice : "i'm a little teapot short and stout.." (which was exactly wat jj sang when i told him i was getting a teapot for my dad, WAT is up with these ppl? )
my brother is such a doofus at times, 1.87 and 100 kg doofus. singing 'i'm a little teapot' . gosh, my family is so weird sometimes.
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