Meringue Tower/Gingerbread Crossroads



Tuesday, April 20, 2004
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Finished Sylvia Plath's " The Belljar ".

rather absorbing and there are a few scenes or moments the character goes through which i can see myself in. but all in all, i don't find it terribly relevant to my life, how she loses her interest in everything, how she numbs and i definitely am not entertaining the possiblity of suicide (which is one of the recurring themes in the book ) because of it, unlike the person who lent me the book. haha.


And i do feel slightly relieved, for some reason or another, that mental conditions could be this devastating. (i am assuming there is some sort of reflection of Plath's own condition in the lead's) It is quite disturbing too. Because the character Esther, does recover in the end (or i think she does). And i think in that choice of an ending, Plath probably attached with the story a hope for herself : to be salvaged from the fate of suicide which took her weeks after.

I did learn some positive things from the book (surprise surprise):

1) you don't have to know where fate brings you all the time, which road you will take, what life you will have to live, since there is no absolute sureness of its occurence by possessing that knowledge. Just take life in each day, making sure each day doesn't go so out of step and you don't push yourself into corners.

2) as long as you have a passion for ONE thing in your life, there shouldn't be a scenario where you HAVE to die. forget bout the light at the end of the tunnel, look out for the little airholes spread throughout.

oh well, i took a hot bath today. And hot baths really rock.
And i got damien rice playing in the bathroom as well.
its like having him sitting right beside my tub and giving it to me live.

4/20/2004 10:47:00 PM

Sunday, April 18, 2004
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The last day of my protracted vacation has come.
I feel so bloody 'civilian' now, i am dreading tonight's return like schoolboys dreading the first day of school after those long, dreamy December hols.

But oh well, i must admit i have put these 5 days to such good use (with e exception of today) that i can't realli feel grudging at all (and who can i bear a grudge against? haha).
I have met up with particulars, picked up a skill or two in the kitchen, played mahjong (and lost so badly), bought a lousy album, read here and there, recorded, swam, jogged and i think i've exhausted all the probable things-to-do i've thought of for my ORD leave clearance (which is in a year to come, no hurry :|) --> it's not a very impressive list, i know. :)

And i'm not really dreading e early wakeup calls or the uniform or anithing like dat, but more of the company (again). for 2 weeks i've managed to keep away fm mi platoon cos of mi duty and my offs, and it still always feels much better to be alone or with true friends (or even online with them) then to face a bunch of albeit unassuming but nevertheless unexciting campmates. do u realise wat i'm saying? haha. just that they are of such minute significance that i cannot bring myself to face their goodness and kind words and sometimes attempts to know me better!
but it isn't all that bad, i'll still manage to do my social butterflying which on occasions, surprisingly, entertain me! i'm jus whining.

" Z is for Cows, Down-letters and Tori. "

damned my ignorance.
should have known better but to make this barter with "whichever office is involved":

If i managed to win more than 9.50 on mahjong yesterday,
i'll get my very first and personal pack of fags. (dun roll ur eyes)


I mean, is Luck some health-conscious, fatherly figure?
He could have just let me win LESS than 9.50, there was no need to make me lose $37! (which upon some LUCK of another sort, i slyly reduced to $20.. grin)

" Cotttttt Tonnnnnn Coasttttttt Errrrrr "

Some blog feedback.

I dun encourage the obsession with love.
Been there done that.
Although it might not have been recognised by ahem... "universal" standards,
I still think it was pretty fine already.
Think we should not presume love is our final destination in life.
Or building a family, OR a successful career, OR countless stacks of notes.
Just go with the flow, enjoy life to its max, expectation sucks a hell out of fun.
If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't , i wasn't waiting anyway.
Love is no more than chocalate fondue.
If the choc makes me happy, why search/wait in anguish for love right?
The reverse works too.
Althought sometimes i do hope i were more popular with girls. haha. but that's ego.
Now, i'm just making sure i still have lau or dele when the whole world gets married and attached (and i didn't get a go at it) for lifelong companionship. (i dun deny dat i get lonely) the little darlings. haha.

~

I'm quite pissed i missed my Jiang3 Zhuo4 (wat do u call that? talk session? haha)
on Hong Lou Meng this afternoon cos i played mahjong thruout e night and i overslept.
The lady i called regarding it was so polite and i could feel my CHINESE bond with her. haha.

I'm gg to learn driving prac lessons, n advanced theory in 2 wks. Egad. If i failed basic once, how many times shld i fail advance?

i'm a real crapmouth.
i see raised eyebrows.
yeah, i'm e kind of yucky tummy person dat eats 3 scoops of yogurt, a plum, a choc cube, kimchi and cup of vitamin C dissolved, ALL THAT in 5 mins.
i dunno y i do dat. i dun even get SATISFACTION.

did u guys know Haagen Daaz sorta had a 130% price increase?
it's $14.50 for Macadamia Brit, Rum and Raisin ...
and
$12.50 for Vanilla , Chocalate and e 'lower flavors'.
HARLOE. Who's gonna buy a tub of 475ml of HD dat costs e price of 8 ltrs of No Frills Vanilla icecream (which kicks ass btw , go try) ????
But on the contrary, the HD cafes do sell sundaes dat cost $13. hmmm.
But NEW FLAVOR FOR BANANA LOVERS!!
Yo monkeys, Cold Storage Sale ---> $9.50 for a tub!

Looking at ML mugging for Maths (eeeeps), actually made me quite excited about Uni life cos i would be MUGGING CHINESE!!! what could be more enjoyable!! *geeky wide toothy smile*

i'm getting sleepy. see u guys ard.




4/18/2004 03:54:00 PM