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Saturday, August 13, 2005
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it suddenly dawned upon me how little time i have been spending with the people i will miss most when i leave : my family. i live away from home now and my dad doesn't see me for an entire week until weekends come along. Yes he usually comes back at 10pm and sees me for 10 min before i coop myself up in the room with the computer but at least he sees me. I kinda miss my dad already. As for mum, she's home all the time but she only gets to see me when i pop by to get some stuff before i rush out to meet friends. I miss mum too. friends. the only thing i've learnt is that there will never be enough meetups. So i should know when to stop.
The next week is another mad rush. i am merely meeting appointment times. i don't think anymore. its just finding out if its more logical to go home and shower and get stuff or to go out direct from my grandpa's place and get stuff another day. its just where to eat and what to do and who to meet.
i still have 6 books unread. 2 series (She4 Diao1 included) and 1 movie unwatched. I haven't written in ages. i haven't had a single meal with my grandpa or my parents this entire week ( and i feel like fuck-dge for that ). i don't even msn much nowadays. i check my email at 2am when i come home then. i feel perpetually sleepy. im on-the-go all the time. i seem to have lost my memory : i don't know when appts are anymore and whether i'm free on XX day.
i get the urge for going . i guess i have to go.
forgive me for i really must forgo many people i would like to meet. And although i casually promised everyone " a dinner before i go ". i'm afraid i really can't afford the time or energy. I really must spend the last week with my family.
i can't even find the energy to start a new blog although i've signed up at 4 different blog-hosting-providers, hoping i would find one to substitute this current blogspot one.
i haven't packed. i owe 2 jabs. i haven't started my accounts book.
i need to sleep. i'm tired of leaving.
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Monday, August 08, 2005
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I wish i had a river. So when winter comes, i'll skate away, drawing circles far and wide. Forgotten. Noone remembers melted ice.
I wish to own a tree, i'll look at it in a way noone else could decipher and it will never betray my adoration, unlike children who forget - their aged playmates after a fresh bout of sweat.
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