Meringue Tower/Gingerbread Crossroads



Saturday, June 12, 2004
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I learnt about the death of my teacher from Chee How's email. He2 Lao Shi, my Sec. 1 and Sec. 2 Chinese Language teacher and also the form teacher of my secondary 1 class - 1M. I am sorry to say it took me quite a bit of effort to recall even which class he was form for, but i know he was one of the teachers that made a difference. One of the first people that inspired my deep-rooted passion for Chinese Language and teaching.

I am not extremely grieved, i must admit. I am sorry. Sorry for his wife and children he left behind. Sorry that i couldn't have seen more of him. Sorry for all the (though very few) moments i thought of walking over to TCHS to see him and other teachers but chose not to in the end.

I am sad. In a very odd manner. Like a general widespread sadness more than specifically attributed to him. He is close to me. We never were that close for me to cry over his death, but never that distant to not wonder why i am not crying over it either. I chose the name of his youngest daughter when she was born. I remember him twitching his eyes alot while discussing with me on my project topic. I remember him always teasing me. I remember going to his house for CNY. I remember him laughing in two ways, one patronising (I heard alot of it when he talked to those teachers), one genuine and heartfelt (I heard more of it when he was with us). Yet these memories don't feel close, and in some ways, feel unreal, cos they seem so far away now.

i feel yi2 han4.

forever remembered in whatever amounts.



6/12/2004 05:28:00 PM