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Saturday, March 19, 2005
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**revised**
Sekai
No Chushin De,
Ai Wo
Sakebu
(At the centre of the world, I cried out for love)
Saku.
Aki.
Doushitte. Doushitte leizou no kokoro kara, mata ai wo sakebu.
Zhao and i finished the Japanese Drama series " Sekai No Chushin De, Ai Wo Sakebu ". Its been a long time since i last finished an entire jap series. My last one was probably Hitotsu Yane No Shita (for the sixth time). In fact, i haven't 'followed' tv programmes since forever.
I think zhao and i will have disputes on whether this show counts as a tragedy or not. But that depends if on what you feel about (during) the ending. And in this show, the ending is probably the least important. both zhao and i loved the movie. it comes a close second behind my all time fav. It is a love story. And love stories being love stories, are nothing but a compound of cliches and twists. This show had them all but it is different.
The mood is set from the start; the cards laid : she will die. the lovers will be separated. there will be pain. and you would be expected to cry. No surprises. No shock. And as Saku recalls the past (17 years ago), you find yourself walking beside him and as he tries to forget her, somehow, i was trying to forget her too. The show calls for our empathy. Of course it isn't your average real-life relationship, but you will feel for the characters, and you will feel their pain, the bittersweetness of youth, the torment of losing the love of your life. It was not only once when i asked myself : what will i do if i lost someone i really loved? will i be able to forget then? will i be able to live with it? And you find yourselves asking the precise questions that the male lead asked himself, by then, its too late : you have been won over.
Each scene. Each still. Each dialogue. Every detail seemed to have its significance in intensifying the element of tragedy in his loss. Its a series with a clear theme and that is VERY rare: We deal with losses. Big losses. How do we survive them? How can we live on? I do not take these messages for its positive educational value (jus typically me) but delight in the means they were delivered to the audience : swimming in the despair of the male lead and the helplessness of those around the dying girl.
Its your typical sick girl who eventually dies. I have no interest in the usual conflicts that surface during the treatment of her illness but was overwhelmed by the desperation of those who loved her. Saku in the future, still haunted by the past, knowing not what to do to escape from his agony. Saku in the past, her ashes in his clenched fist, breaking down on top of the majestic red moutain of Ululu. Realistic and fantasical at the same time.
A wonderful cast. Character shaping was more or less complete, zhao and i especially liked the fact that the parents' in this series were not "archtype" (courtesy of zhao). Filmography was a treat. I felt like i was watching a movie sometimes : with stills of objects lingering at the end of a scene. Zooming off from the leads to make them but a part of a breath-taking scenery. And speaking of scenery, this show has a fantabulous setting. Small town by the sea. Automobiles were only seen 3 times in the entire series. Managed to produce an 80s effect, it felt alot like walking through a time tunnel. zhao and i feel like planning a trip down to that little town.
Cheers to the scripting. It was positively delightful. How smooth the transition was, from past to present and vice versa, not only physically but also emotionally. I felt like i was in Saku's mind all along, accompanying him in this reminiscence. like how an item from the 'past' will be introduced at the beginning of the 'present' by old Saku and very appropriately appear again in the 'past' with young Saku towards the later half of each episode. It felt coherent. It felt complete.
Acting was tops. From the leads to their 'parents' to their 'friends'. Everyone managed to make their characters unique even if their personality weren't allowed to fully develop. Music was fine, suited the movie, giving it the old feel. Theme song's not too bad.
Many a times i could feel my nose getting all scrungy and my eyes getting damp but maybe cos i was too sleepy, the tear ducts weren't working well. damned. it has the potential to be a A-grade tearjerker.
Seriously recommend this. *thumbs up*
P.S.
Zhao and i started watching from bout 8.30 all the way till 3.45 am. Slept till 8.20. Started at 8.45 or so and finished at bout 11. I love vcd marathons. But it kills my body. And i decided not to go find xiang xiang. :(
Seikai no chushin de, xiang xiang wo sakebu. :)
~~
At 11:35 pm on the same day :
crap. this is an addition to the post.
i am stuck in the show. dang. i can't seem to get it out of my head.
its like being one of their friends in the series.
and my heart is being wrenched over and over again.
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS VIRTUAL REALITY.
i think i'm getting the dvd. i want posters too. Zhao is probably getting a picturebook if there is. We're gonna be the chairmen of Sakebu Club.
If you need to have drama in your life and real relationships are much too unfulfilling and troublesome, please go get this series.
while i attempt to recover from my post-sakebu-lovelorn phase. urgh.
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Friday, March 18, 2005
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" i never thought this day would come.
where i'll be paid to
blog. "
It's exasperating to idle. I WANT to do WORK when i'm SUPPOSED to be "working".
Don't envy me. I don't like this.
~
Ok this is a DESPERATE call for help.
(yay! i was just asked to string up some files. now i have work! but i'm too efficient. *in mock resignation* i finish what i have so quickly that i'm idle again. *SIGH* and my superiors will look so traumatised cos they have to 'find' some work for me again. oh. what. woe.) (i can be such an asshole without even trying hard.)
Okay my knees are killing me. ANYONE who has any recommendations for doctors, please leave the address or contact no. in my comments page.
Western or Chinese. i'm willing to go as far as witch doctors and even drink tailsman ash. I have condemned NUH's specialists and physiotherapists. 3 DIFFERENT DIAGNOSIS (even after an MRI scan and xray) which include : 1) My leg being totally fine with an unlikely but still probable tear in my ligament which should 'heal by itself' and recommendations to go back to running ; 2) A fusion of 3 different problems in 3 different areas : ligament, muscle and the jelly between the bones (JBB) (what a riot.) ; 3) (oh this one is GOOD...) he claims all my pain in my knees is attributed to my... FLAT FEET (this guy's THE winner).
I feel my bones rubbing against one another. i limp. i cannot climb stairs or kneel anymore. I have never had physical injuries before. And i hate it. Even though i don't do sports. I'm gonna grow old with a stiff knee and an ugly pot belly. So i need treatment now. So please help out if you guys know any good tui1 na3 or western doctors.
Thanks.
~
Meeting zhao tonight for a stayover VCD session. Gonna finish : Zai Shi Jie De Zhong Xin Hu Huan Ai Jap Series. And probably gonna try look for xiang xiang tml noon at Sembawang Shpp Centre. Call me crazy. Call me mad.
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Monday, March 14, 2005
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A sloppy collage. MAKE DO.
*faces are blurred to protect the identities of these people*
(erm. NO. its jus poor resolution.)
(and NO again if you were wondering if chris is my gf from bottom right photo. we just like acting couply. she's already ahem chou4 hua1 you3 zhu3 le. so eat ur hearts out. n i could rent my lao po out tho! ahem. :D )
Brainy
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The fact that i'm blogging during office hours isn't wonderful evidence (if lunch hour being only 15 min away doesn't justify it) of my diligence. But seriously there isn't enough work around here!
for some reason, the work shuns me. Probably because everyone here ,with the exception of my small aunt, doesn't dare pile work on the boss' nephew. Its quite annoying. yes yes, i know i still get my generous payslip at the end of the day but i'll rather work for it. And if that is too noble a reason for the resident slackers out there, time passes much more quickly when you're busy with something. So what happens is when people delegate work to me, i'll try to humble myself as much as possible and do whatever (and more) that is required, while the people delegating the job usually gives me the impression that they MADE UP work for me. like specially designed to be 'less taxing'. which is rather irritating. Or they'll spend so much time explaining to me how to do it (cos i'm as new as a blank sheet) , they would probably rather do it themselves. And then i feel like a useless burden. BUT I AM WILLING TO WORK. I AM! I AM! bah.
now i've got my own cubicle so i'll blog. (btw its lunch time now so im not exploiting my 'special status' ok.)
~
keke.
i was Teddy Bear at Sembawang Shopping Centre last sat.
Okok. i know you guys are probably no longer thrilled by the absurdity of it all and would just give me a look of despise like i'm a fart or sth. haha. Adele used the words, " Wu yao ke jiu " on me. Aiya. its not really for the money (okay it is). its quite fun doing odd jobs. I enjoy doing weird stuff. and i sure didn't regret being Mr. Teddy Bear this sat....
BECAUSE
i got to meet the 'sample' for my future son. mmm.
what i want to say is,
i met this little boy i'll crown the 'cutest i've met'.
he's called Xiang xiang and he's gonna be really handsome with his longsideburns. he's prob 2. he can't really like er.. make conversation. okay so i was mascotting for this sorry little food fair-wannabe 4-stalls pasar malam-like thingy at the mall.
i was jus walking round and round in my silly Brainy the Bear (YES. the name is BRAINY. the BEAR.) suit. i made probably 6 rounds or so. Trust me its bloody tough. i've got shoe of size 18 maybe and i was looking out from Brainy's mouth, directly facing the floor which aint top view for stable walking. So i shuffled here and there, teasing people as i go along , imitating their poses or jus pretending to jog which was quite hilarious. or telling them how hot it was with a paw fanning face action *snigger*.
that's besides the point.
whenever i walk past this certain stall, there will be xiang xiang with his mommy. and xiang xiang will be standing there with his little hands. one little hand would be holding his mommy's hand. the other little hand would be reaching out to me, and there will be this expression which isn't the usual kiddish loud excitement i came across but rather this look of meekness conquered by a great GREAT adoration for the bear. and this look : it can melt hearts of stone. That didn't happen for just the first or the second time, but every SINGLE time i walked past : the novelty simply doesn't wear off for this little darling. And the feeling was easily mutual. Each time i walked past him, i gave him special attention (oh and believe me, it means THAT much to a kid when we're talking about a lifesize bear.).
for the 1st time i merely shook his hand.
the 2nd time i got to hug him. and he got to hug me.
the 3rd time i shook his hand and patted his head.
the 4th time i did sth taboo : TALK. Rule no.1 of costume bears broken.
i said , " Where's mommy ? " which he blanked out to.
the 5th time i asked him if i could bring him home and he refused but he refused to let go of my hand too.
the last time i carried him up and cradled him for a little while.
And that was when i actually felt like NOT getting out of that stinky, used, dratted suit, just so i can continue playing with my boy. but i had to. cos its jus really hot in there. i was perspiring all over.
so i changed out. and after setting my costume aside. i decided to go see xiang xiang one last time. And when i walked over, it felt really odd. just 5 min ago, i was a bear which got the eye of every passerby : the schoolgirls will giggle in their gaggles, old people would look mildly embarrassed, the young chaps will tease or shun and little kids would look absolutely thrilled or otherwise petrified. And now, you are out of your costume and noone even takes a second look at you (if they even take the first). And feeling a bit nervous yet hopeful i went over to the stall where xiang xiang and his mum were around.
Yep, he was there.
So i walked over and patted him on his head.
Now xiang xiang is a really cool boy , he didn't freak out at tt but looked at me with a slightly confused expression. And his mom (nice lady) turned over and said hi. But of cos she had no idea who the hell i was. but she was just being friendly.
Then i said this line which i had rehearsed while i was changing :
" wa. gang cai hai gen wo wan, xian zai bu ren de wo le ah? "
( wa. just now was still playing with me , now don't recognise me ah? " )
And thinking bout it now, his mom must be pretty smart to get that sentence in a less than a second. she went : "ohhh you're the bear! "
and she happily went up to xiang xiang and said, " neh! this is kor kor la! kor kor is bear bear la! ni bu shi yi zhi zai zhao bear bear? " ( weren't you looking for the bear ? ) "
and xiang xiang obviously didn't understand the logic behind this : some 20 year old teenager would dress himself up as a bear to earn some quick bucks. OR the more fundamental question : the bear isn't REAL? but xiang xiang sort of understood that there was a very unique relationship between this teen in front of him and the bear he was looking high and low for. So he was quite receptive to myself.
So i knelt down and start talking to him, patting his head and stroking his face with my real hands and even carrying him. he is such an obedient and friendly boy. I asked him if he wanted to go find the bear, he nodded. den shook his head when i tried to carry him away. den nodded again when i suggested that mommy came along with us. In the end, after an unreasonable amount of time spent talking to him (if his mom wasn't such a lovely lady, she would have shown signs of resistance but she was really nice bout it), i decided i had to go. And his mum kept asking xiang xiang to follow me and look for the bear but he didn't want to. dang. den before i left, i asked him to say : "bye bye kor kor" and finally i heard that little voice of his.
Then i walked away. feeling all fuzzy inside. And when i was just about to go down the escalator i spotted the little boy and his mommy walking towards the escalator. So it turned out they were on their way home too.
And i had this little conversation with xx's mom.
Me : " xiang xiang, wanna go find bear bear? " (to xx)
XXMum: " Ask kor kor to bring u to find bear bear la! " (to xx)
( i clumsily undid the knot of this HUGE polkadotted cloth bag which contained my entire costume and showed xx the bear head and his eyes WIDENED and GLEAMED. haha. so cute. )
Me : " See, bear bear sleeping le. kor kor bring him back home to sleep right? u have to sleep also right? "
(XX stones.)
XXMum : " So tml u coming again? "
Me : " Nope, another event tml. just a one day thing. "
XXMum : " going to have any other performances anywhere else? " (hopefully)
Me : (wishing damned hard for that moment i did have) " Nope . "
XXMum : "oh.. so only once .. "
Me : " Yah. where do u live ? "
XXMum : "Woodlands"
blablabla.
Then it jus occured to me that there were so many ppl whom you just meet once, love them so much but know that you probably won't see them ever again. And that's just shitty. You have that impulse to ask them if we could meet again, if i could go play with xiang xiang sometime or when they'll come over to sembawang again. but. BUT. its not sensible. its irrational. its probably scary. cos ppl just dun do that ard here. ppl aren't supposed to like people they dun know.
I remember waving goodbye to xx from the taxi stand as he waited for the shuttle bus to the mrt station , in his mother's arms. And he kept waving and waving. so did his mum. bah. i miss him. im going to sembawang shopping centre next saturday. i wanna see the kid.
p.s. i think u guys think im probably crazy for dedicating such a long drag of words to a little boy who was 'just cute'.
~
well well. this weekend sure was a PACKED one.
it started on friday. after work, i rushed off to have a bday dinner kid's party at marche for my aunt's bday. and after that, i met jj and bern outside town to meet jb for a mj session at jj's place. lost. slept at bout 3am. woke up at 6.45. rushed off to chomp pang for the hopelessly stupid and meaningless ADSD family day. sneaked off. had breakfast with some of the guys. then rushed home. then slept for 1 and a half hours. rushed off to sembawang shopping centre. worked till 5. took a cab home. stepped into my house for 7 min where wen sen called asking me to watch the play he co-directed and involved two of my childhood friends : junfeng n xinying. didn't know xinying was inside. decided to go watch it. zzy coincidentally wanted to watch it for a 2nd time. rushed down. POURED. JAMMED . late by half an hr. decided to not go watch since HALF of the play was over already n tics weren't bought yet. (not really anyway). went for a aimless walk round city hall area, had wasabi prawn salad at raffles city's coffee club. not as good as e one at paragon. met zzy. went down substation to see wen sen etc. went home w zzy.
sunday, woke up at 11. met huili,chris , jj and jb at PS at 3. had lao beijing buffet (JB's treat).the food wasn't good but cheap la for this kinda food. had lotsa fun making gross conversation bout gorging ourselves w food n where to erm.. "hide it". left for ktv at good ol' apollo centre, with lihui joining us. had the CRAZIEST DANCING ktv session i had. this session squeezes into my top 3 maddest sessions. i was actually soaked in sweat (good dat u guys din see it :P ) we were dancing to like a series of 4-5 'high' songs. gosh. i was bloody shacked at e end of it. god i love these people. it must have been one of the best turnouts ever for group outings. (WE MISS U TOO MEILING!!)
went home. slept. woke up for work at 6.45.
man. i'll die young at this rate.
~
photos of outing w campmates and clique outing soon to come.
~
i dunno why i have this crazy urge to spend on vcds nowadays.
Remember my mei li shi guang vcd which i got bout 2 mths ago?
i haven't watched it.
i got another china movie. din watch it.
bought a she diao china series. din watch it.
got 3 new japanese series. havent watched them.
and bought another old series i already watched.
its jus stupid la. i dunno wats wrong with me.
its books and vcds. books n vcds. the worse thing is buying them n chucking them away. but once i get e chance ill start my endless movie marathon. with zhao probably. *wide grin*
yay zhao's back fm taiwan with more gifts for me. HURRAY. *he had better*
~
oh ya. about the prev blog about the listening ear and problem i'm facing.
i'm fine everybody. er. and im very thankful for all the sms-es and phonecalls. thanks ppl. but im really okay. haha. so dun start worrying for me. esp LIHUI! im really fine la.
n forget bout e listening ear bit. haha. i realised i still like keeping stuff to myself. :)
~
I am frank.
To all who wants to learn baking from me,
1) i am REALLY not a pro.
2) unless you have mixers and all the baking essentials, i don't teach.
3) if you DO have mixers and the baking essentials, i won't teach cos i dun teach pros cos they are future competition. ( dun question why. dun challenge. )
4) i only teach my close friends.
5) i will make all exceptions if u pay. course fees : Cheesecake : $80 excluding ingredients.
jus a note : Bt Batok is holding baking lessons on sat.
lala.
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