Meringue Tower/Gingerbread Crossroads



Saturday, March 05, 2005
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its absolutely necessary to live in style.
glamour = usually too much glitz and involves a whole chunk of ego and self-indulgence.
but style is
living the way you want and others will want when they look at the way you live.

i never want to be the centre of attraction but i like to be liked.
i know EVERYONE 'likes to be liked' but i want that more than alot of people i know. don't be mistaken, i don't suck up, i don't oblige and i don't indulge,
as far as possible that is,
sometimes i do, when i fall in love with a personality, i ditch my high-strung pride and go all out. i look most embarrassingly stupid and out-of-style at times like that. and you know that rarely happens.
i have my style. but it isn't THE style. DANG.
and style isn't beckham. it isn't Guess wallposters. it isn't bout looks.

i want to be the crowdstopper. the one riding the horses. setting the trend. but most of the time, i want ALL that when i'm being myself. tsk.

random thoughts.

oh and before we attain 'style' my friends,
i think we need intelligence.
After intelligence, we need dreams and drive.
after that, comes attitude to set ourselves apart from the commoners.
then finally
style.
~

i'm doing so much driving i'm dizzy with delight.
that's four d-words in a sentence.
i've been driving to camp everyday. and driving campmates to and fro. last service before i go off. drove to town twice already.
earned 4 horns. *toothy grin*
and hopefully no speeding ticket.
no scratches or bumps(as of today).

i'll miss the car. :(

~

3 weeks in sweden, i wonder what i'll do there. i've got two of my deng xiao ping biographies to read and another cultural revolution one. my mom seems to want to travel. i'm fine with that. i'm fine with just lazy-towning too(NEW WORD). I like the feeling of tucking my hands in the pockets of a windbreaker, all wrapped up and cosy, with music in my ears, unrecognisable, strolling down a cold street. its jus VISUAL.

i hope i dun end up like the shit boring loser in singapore that sits by the PC all day. and i NEED to do some writing.

can't believe adele says she'll look down on me if i'm a poor writer. friends.

and on the topic of friends, can the medicine students jus buck up and finish their exams fast so i HAVE people to go out with. damn u muggertoads.

~

TORI AMOS' THE BEEKEEPER

GOT IT. :D

its very much chirpier. okay not EXACTLY 'chirpier'. less dark.
i think its a positive sign with what's going on in tori's life.
and coincidentally, a good reflection of mine.
we're BOTH happier and more matured! (maybe) i like to associate my life with my idols'.

i think its a bit more conventional, i can imagine it going down well with the masses.
not an unexpected followup of Scarlets' Walk (her previous album).
i dun like describing tori as mellow or conventional tho.
cos she is definitely and ABSOLUTELY (taken with the full definition) unique.
and even her calmness is intense. (i'm simply bias. neh neh neh neh neh)

it sounds like i dun like this album as much.
but i dun like to compare. its her at different stages and me at different stages.
i didn't grow up with her music, i simply got all her albums within 2 years! haha.
i'll just say,
it sure rocks to drive with this album playing. loud as usual.
and its the sexiest album to date. (think music not tori. ok. maybe both.)

oh and btw,
like a gift from the heavens,
my queen actually collaborated with Damien Rice.
man its like a freaking haagen daaz buffet with an extra unlimited supply of 300 varieties of authentic china jiao zis PLUS a winebar. FOR FREE.
i CANNOT believe it.
DAMIEN RICE (possibly my fav eng male singer ) with TORI.
what were the chances!?!
and the next thing you know :
S.H.E. , yanzi and jay doing a song together.

~

More news in the beng-lian scene:

Jay ditches Jolin for Hou Pei Chen?
Christopher n Fann getting married?
Xiao Zhu is with Selina ? (why?!?! his zui chun jing shen meh?)
Libing and Nanxing are splitting up?

and its retarded how one of my campmates commented:

Retarded campmate: Li Nanxing is GAY!
Campmate who knows better : he is???
Retarded campmate:(surely) Ya lar, otherwise why he don't have kids?

i dunno why i love catching up on starbuzz. it nearly strays off at the style border.
teehee.

~

so i'm not catching Sideways anymore.
and i should be catching :
1) The Woodsman
2) Team America
3) Ray
4) A moment to remember

in the following order.
and there's really quite a struggle over lemony.
on one hand, i have christine, 8 days and Life! with their bad reviews.
oh the other hand , i have a good trailer, 4 academy award nominations and a fat baby (and dickens' setting).
i need someone to tip the scale. or of cos, free movie tickets.

~

what's up with the music and movie scene.
i've got like a hundred chinese newcomers. wu ke qun, ken chu, peng jing hui, peng dunno wat, yang kun, chen lin, huo jian hua and a few i can't even name.
AND
i've got like 20 movies coming soon or now showing or dunno what.

its disgusting. i need a payrise.
oh and ZHAO! i got the She Diao VCD for $30! haha. the china one.

i NEED a payrise.

~

i see a single friend getting attached.
and the very next day,
he starts getting/making THE phonecalls.
*winces*
its almost like THE natural course of things.
noone attempts to break out of it.
noone minds it. noone notices how mundane and commonplace it is.
its almost like you do it for the sake of doing it.
i suppose they all get into this ... state and heave a sigh of relief to themselves and say :
"yep. we're there. we're doing the COUPLE thing. we're doing it RIGHT. we're safe and normal."

*in meditation*
you MUST be obsessed. you MUST know where they are all the time. you MUST say lovey dovey stuff and do lovey dovey things like sharing food, walking each other home and talking on the phone at least 10 hrs a dayyy.. ohmmmmmmm......

*chuckle*
haha. its quite funny LA. is this really what MUST happen? i need to see COOL couples! where are my COOL couples! *gasps* what? there AREN'T? *gets over the shock and shakes head sadly* i want a coollll couple. *grumbles*

oh. i know wat u think. but, NAH, my grapes are SO sweet you'll want them if you tried them. *sinister smirk*
haha.
for NOW, togetherness is brrrrr.

but aiya, of cos the overwriting rule is :
Kai Xin Jiu Hao.
:)

~

and to DesertStorm:

don't go there.
insecurity -> doubt -> raging expectations -> RAGING disappointments -> the-right-person question -> do-i-love question -> i don't anymore -> actually i do but its better we are apart before it sours further -> i'm single. but sad. i want another in my life -> desperation again

always look for the better things in a relationship. its better to deceit oneself sometimes.

BUT. OF COS.
sometimes it ISN'T the right person. you DON'T really love them anymore. you RATHER be single. haha. its so complicated yet so simple.
i'm afraid i'm not up to advising (for once) this time.
too personal to be sensible. too costly to be irrational.
but i can listen, and u know i'm there . 24/7. *grin*

Extra note to ML:
oh man, i realised Alice probably didn't even love him from the start!
*heartsore*

3/05/2005 02:00:00 AM

Monday, February 28, 2005
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My dad went off to Germany, Poland and Sweden for the next week for his work exhibition cum brother visiting. So he's away. And i have the CAR to myself. But i did ask him (stupid me) if i could drive the car to camp which he specifically said 'NO'. Not only specifically but quite firmly. But i could see that he wanted to let me drive but there's this thing about sticking to rules : he ever said that my brother and i could only drive after our license turns a year old. My dad's the typical person who says things that dun leave him with a 'fire exit', he is usually trapped into realising his promises or exercising his self-proclaimed, family-indulged rights even when he thinks they are wrong OR when he is unwilling to do so anymore.

Ok, enough bout that, the main issue is ... the car.

So today i went up to mummy and did my fair share of whining (good lord). Oooh and mum told me that she ever had quite a few disagreements with my dad over this issue during my brothers' probation year because she thinks driving more helps familiarisation, which IS true! A very untypical " Wise mommy. Silly daddy. " situation. So i had the wind blowing from my direction. VERY advantageous. So with a word put in from my cousin, VOILA. I got to drive to town!

And *grin* I'm a notttti boy. I secretly drove to outram to pick jj up after his CD shopping. And we parked at my aunt's place behind paragon (YAY. cheers to free parking in town. I just get such a kick out of saving $3-$5 !! ) Then we went for some shopping for boon's pressie, followed by album/vcd hunting (for Tori's new release and Zhang Yi Mou's "To Live" the movie) and finally : "CLOSER". I'll touch on that in a while. Then! The fun comes, i DROVE to Thomson to fetch boon for a break from his mugging, went off to some corner for prata supper and den fetch jj back to serangoon and den boon back and headed home! WoooooooOOoooo i love using the car. I dun especially LURVE driving. Its jus the convenience and speed that makes it so enjoyable. But i suck at directions. And jj has alot of comments on my parking. *scorn* FOOL. like you will EVER know how hard it is to park your dad's car. tai tai wannabe.

But we had a great/safe time. Its that stage in your life where you start driving your friends out for teh bing and prata supper. man are we growing up.

*snigger snigger* i hope i can sneak off to drive the car round more. But i think the mileage and the drop in petrol might let the cat out of the bag when dad's back. bah. TILL THEN.

~

Closer.


The title is completely justified. Don't ask me what its about. That's a toughie. I wouldn't call it Romance, because if this show is NOT anything, its NOT romantic. Its not drama because its so real. Or maybe it should be called 'drama'. for the exact same reason.

Its putting relationships, love and sex under a magnifying glass. In this show, don't expect the plot to branch off into any other department. We're in THIS and we're in it for good. And don't expect supporting cast. You have FOUR leads. And they are probably the only four people in the entire film. No one else you need to remember. What do they work as? Where are they from? What landed them here in this precise moment? You don't need to know all these. They are merely details to serve the sole theme, present but unconsequential and redundant.

I heard alot of gasps from the audience. Alot of 'tsk's. Alot of noises generated from either disbelief or disagreement. I think i can presume that not many couples in THIS cinema agree that this show is brutally accurate. No you won't hear any guy we know around our place demand to know whether his girlfriend had an orgasm when she slept with someone else. No. You can't believe anyone will decide that they didn't love someone anymore after 10 seconds. But in Closer, it happens. And I was undeniably and unexpectedly overwhelmed. There were bits of the show where it hit me so bad i cringed, and it isn't some gory war scene, but a breakup, so real, cutting deep and oh. so. painful. like when HE begged.

You have a film where all the (seemingly) most banal dialogues are carried out, full of " Do you love me ? "s or " Have you ever loved me ? "s. But in this show, they no longer are trite. They finally found rebirth in this movie, after being condemned to merely 'goosebump-inducing' lines, after the rampant overusage in mediocre love stories. I hear and I think. And as all these talk (yes, the movie is filled with only talk. another conversation movie) piles up, you do not get exhausted or weary but you begin to glimpse into the truth behind so many relationships.

I will not judge love and i shall not comment but if i do, you can tell its probably something cynical.

We go for a whopping ride and we all end up somewhere. Some of us merely walked a big circle and returned to where we came from. Some of us are somewhere new, WITH someone new. And all those shoutings and yellings, those 'i love you's, the sex, the lust, the love , they all seem so made-up. And in fact, you did conjure it up yourself. That little drama you had was entirely created by : you. Each choice, each detail was yours, each kiss, each round of sex was yours. And at the end of the day, you merely played in your own game in your own life.

Don't be quick to reject the absurdities in the movie.
Don't be quick to judge them as absurdities.

And even if you didn't like the story, you would love the visual spread they have. Julia Roberts? Jude Law? Natalie Portman? Especially Natalie Portman. She is simply GORGEOUS. Absolutely delightful to watch. And the acting was 2 thumbs up. Nothing like good ol' GOOD acting. It takes conventional scenes to tell who's the acting guru.

And if all else fails, there's Damien Rice's "A Blower's Daughter" which starts and ends the movie in such haunting melancholy.

All in all : 4/5
i'm getting the vcd.

"i'm glad i'm out."
- from "I'll Never Fall in Love Again"

shocked? you are closer.

~

Oh wow. if lemony really isn't good then i'll trade it in for The Woodsman with Kevin Bacon.
I've got to watch Sideways too.

2/28/2005 01:00:00 AM