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Saturday, March 05, 2005
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its absolutely necessary to live in style.
glamour = usually too much glitz and involves a whole chunk of ego and self-indulgence.
but style is
living the way you want and others will want when they look at the way you live.
i never want to be the centre of attraction but i like to be liked.
i know EVERYONE 'likes to be liked' but i want that more than alot of people i know. don't be mistaken, i don't suck up, i don't oblige and i don't indulge,
as far as possible that is,
sometimes i do, when i fall in love with a personality, i ditch my high-strung pride and go all out. i look most embarrassingly stupid and out-of-style at times like that. and you know that rarely happens.
i have my style. but it isn't THE style. DANG.
and style isn't beckham. it isn't Guess wallposters. it isn't bout looks.
i want to be the crowdstopper. the one riding the horses. setting the trend. but most of the time, i want ALL that when i'm being myself. tsk.
random thoughts.
oh and before we attain 'style' my friends,
i think we need intelligence.
After intelligence, we need dreams and drive.
after that, comes attitude to set ourselves apart from the commoners.
then finally
style.
~
i'm doing so much driving i'm dizzy with delight.
that's four d-words in a sentence.
i've been driving to camp everyday. and driving campmates to and fro. last service before i go off. drove to town twice already.
earned 4 horns. *toothy grin*
and hopefully no speeding ticket.
no scratches or bumps(as of today).
i'll miss the car. :(
~
3 weeks in sweden, i wonder what i'll do there. i've got two of my deng xiao ping biographies to read and another cultural revolution one. my mom seems to want to travel. i'm fine with that. i'm fine with just lazy-towning too(NEW WORD). I like the feeling of tucking my hands in the pockets of a windbreaker, all wrapped up and cosy, with music in my ears, unrecognisable, strolling down a cold street. its jus VISUAL.
i hope i dun end up like the shit boring loser in singapore that sits by the PC all day. and i NEED to do some writing.
can't believe adele says she'll look down on me if i'm a poor writer. friends.
and on the topic of friends, can the medicine students jus buck up and finish their exams fast so i HAVE people to go out with. damn u muggertoads.
~
TORI AMOS' THE BEEKEEPER
GOT IT. :D
its very much chirpier. okay not EXACTLY 'chirpier'. less dark.
i think its a positive sign with what's going on in tori's life.
and coincidentally, a good reflection of mine.
we're BOTH happier and more matured! (maybe) i like to associate my life with my idols'.
i think its a bit more conventional, i can imagine it going down well with the masses.
not an unexpected followup of Scarlets' Walk (her previous album).
i dun like describing tori as mellow or conventional tho.
cos she is definitely and ABSOLUTELY (taken with the full definition) unique.
and even her calmness is intense. (i'm simply bias. neh neh neh neh neh)
it sounds like i dun like this album as much.
but i dun like to compare. its her at different stages and me at different stages.
i didn't grow up with her music, i simply got all her albums within 2 years! haha.
i'll just say,
it sure rocks to drive with this album playing. loud as usual.
and its the sexiest album to date. (think music not tori. ok. maybe both.)
oh and btw,
like a gift from the heavens,
my queen actually collaborated with Damien Rice.
man its like a freaking haagen daaz buffet with an extra unlimited supply of 300 varieties of authentic china jiao zis PLUS a winebar. FOR FREE.
i CANNOT believe it.
DAMIEN RICE (possibly my fav eng male singer ) with TORI.
what were the chances!?!
and the next thing you know :
S.H.E. , yanzi and jay doing a song together.
~
More news in the beng-lian scene:
Jay ditches Jolin for Hou Pei Chen?
Christopher n Fann getting married?
Xiao Zhu is with Selina ? (why?!?! his zui chun jing shen meh?)
Libing and Nanxing are splitting up?
and its retarded how one of my campmates commented:
Retarded campmate: Li Nanxing is GAY!
Campmate who knows better : he is???
Retarded campmate:(surely) Ya lar, otherwise why he don't have kids?
i dunno why i love catching up on starbuzz. it nearly strays off at the style border.
teehee.
~
so i'm not catching Sideways anymore.
and i should be catching :
1) The Woodsman
2) Team America
3) Ray
4) A moment to remember
in the following order.
and there's really quite a struggle over lemony.
on one hand, i have christine, 8 days and Life! with their bad reviews.
oh the other hand , i have a good trailer, 4 academy award nominations and a fat baby (and dickens' setting).
i need someone to tip the scale. or of cos, free movie tickets.
~
what's up with the music and movie scene.
i've got like a hundred chinese newcomers. wu ke qun, ken chu, peng jing hui, peng dunno wat, yang kun, chen lin, huo jian hua and a few i can't even name.
AND
i've got like 20 movies coming soon or now showing or dunno what.
its disgusting. i need a payrise.
oh and ZHAO! i got the She Diao VCD for $30! haha. the china one.
i NEED a payrise.
~
i see a single friend getting attached.
and the very next day,
he starts getting/making THE phonecalls.
*winces*
its almost like THE natural course of things.
noone attempts to break out of it.
noone minds it. noone notices how mundane and commonplace it is.
its almost like you do it for the sake of doing it.
i suppose they all get into this ... state and heave a sigh of relief to themselves and say :
"yep. we're there. we're doing the COUPLE thing. we're doing it RIGHT. we're safe and normal."
*in meditation*
you MUST be obsessed. you MUST know where they are all the time. you MUST say lovey dovey stuff and do lovey dovey things like sharing food, walking each other home and talking on the phone at least 10 hrs a dayyy.. ohmmmmmmm......
*chuckle*
haha. its quite funny LA. is this really what MUST happen? i need to see COOL couples! where are my COOL couples! *gasps* what? there AREN'T? *gets over the shock and shakes head sadly* i want a coollll couple. *grumbles*
oh. i know wat u think. but, NAH, my grapes are SO sweet you'll want them if you tried them. *sinister smirk*
haha.
for NOW, togetherness is brrrrr.
but aiya, of cos the overwriting rule is :
Kai Xin Jiu Hao.
:)
~
and to DesertStorm:
don't go there.
insecurity -> doubt -> raging expectations -> RAGING disappointments -> the-right-person question -> do-i-love question -> i don't anymore -> actually i do but its better we are apart before it sours further -> i'm single. but sad. i want another in my life -> desperation again
always look for the better things in a relationship. its better to deceit oneself sometimes.
BUT. OF COS.
sometimes it ISN'T the right person. you DON'T really love them anymore. you RATHER be single. haha. its so complicated yet so simple.
i'm afraid i'm not up to advising (for once) this time.
too personal to be sensible. too costly to be irrational.
but i can listen, and u know i'm there . 24/7. *grin*
Extra note to ML:
oh man, i realised Alice probably didn't even love him from the start!
*heartsore*
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